MARRIAGES/ PRE-MARITAL/ FAMILY/WORK/FRIENDSHIPS
WHY ARE MY RELATIONSHIPS IN SUCH A MESS?
Well, that's somewhat of a loaded question. While there are many reasons that your relationships can be a mess, we can review some main ones. One reason may be that you are trying to deal sensibly with someone who doesn't make sense. On a more serious note it may be that one of the individuals in the relationship really has some underlying emotional,mental,spiritual or even medical issues that need to be addressed. Another reason may be that you yourself could use some relationship-building skills that you have not previously considered. One of the key areas of breakdown in any relationship is communications. In so many cases, if communications improve, the relationship improves. Another area that so many people struggle with is boundaries in relationships. If relationship boundaries are mismanaged, a relationship may seem unmanageable.
HOW DO YOU HELP CONFLICTED COUPLES RESTORE THEIR MARRIAGE?
Marriage is not always a walk in the park. If your marriage has been torn apart because of infidelity, addiction, or other dysfunction it might seem to you as if restoring your marriage is hopeless. However, most couples I work with find hope to restore broken marriages if one key factor to success is present. This key to success is that both partners have to want to mend the marriage. If you come to me willing to do the hard work, I can help. Better yet, if you are both willing to do the hard work AND you are sensitive to God's desire for you to heal this relationship, then it's not just about you, your spouse and my facilitation, it is now about God's power at work in the marriage restoration. Things might get messy at times but we will muddle through this together in a caring, safe environment. I encourage you to explore this option with each other.
HOW DO YOU HELP ENGAGED OR MARRIED COUPLES TO ENRICH THEIR RELATIONSHIP?
If you are an engaged couple you may want to invest in your relationship above and beyond what the church may require in pre-marital counseling. Even though you may be certain of your commitment to each other, you may be aware that you are both dragging some emotional baggage into the relationship, or that there are certain topics, communications patterns or habits that are currently causing conflict in your relationship.
If you are a married couple getting along reasonably well, you may find that there are still issues that keep surfacing that prevent your marriage from really flourishing. Typical issues which may surface could involve others (like your kids or in-laws or employer) or there may be issues with how you communicate, connect intimately, or resolve conflict.
Many of my clients in these situations have found that they can make significant improvements in their relationships. I will provide God-centered counseling to you, teaching you skills that will improve how you communicate with each other, meet each others' needs, and resolve conflict. I can also make available to you the PREPARE/ENRICH Assessment tool, which is an online survey that you take with your
partner to help you identify the unique strengths and potential growth areas of your premarital or married relationship (I am a certified facilitator for this program). The advantage of this approach is that you will receive very specific and useful documented information about yourself and your partner, and about how you interact. Then, in counseling you will work through exercises that have been designed to meet your relationship needs. For more information about this tool please visit www.prepare-enrich.com .
HOW CAN YOU HELP ME IMPROVE OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS?
Let's face it: we were created by a relational God who desires that we relate well with each other. If our key relationships aren't working, life is not running too smoothly. You may be parents struggling to relate better to your children, or trying to figure out what changes you want to make as they transition into adolescence or young adulthood. You may be single and struggle with finding and maintaining healthy relationships with members of the opposite sex, or with friends. You may be married and your spouse doesn't want to have anything to do with couples counseling, and want to understand where to go from here. You may be dealing with a boss whose expectations of you are very unrealistic yet you feel trapped into submission. Whatever the case, contact me, tell me your story, and we'll take it from there.